How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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My pastor, he ate too many beans.

He had in his own pews.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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