How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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