How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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