How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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