How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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