How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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