How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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