How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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