How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
Canvas not available.

or


How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
Canvas not available.

or


What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
Canvas not available.

or




What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
Canvas not available.

or


I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

Canvas not available.

or


How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
Canvas not available.

or


How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
Canvas not available.

or


I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
Canvas not available.

or


A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
Canvas not available.

or


"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
Canvas not available.

or






© Copyright crapjoke.com 2017-2026