How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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