How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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