How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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