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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?
Booberries!
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Where do fish keep their money?
In a river bank
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What has a head but no body?
A nail.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?
coz Donald ducked
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with
but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?
It wanted to be a watermelon.
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