How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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