How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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