How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!

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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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What' the difference between a lawyer and a boxing referee?

A boxing referee doesn't get paid more for a longer fight.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle

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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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