How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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