How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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