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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?
He decomposes.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
Because you can see right through them!
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
From chasing parked ambulances.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?
Rootbeer.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."
The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?
Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"
Time is fun when you're having flies
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?
The space bar!
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