How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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