How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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