How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How do you fix a broken Tuba.

With a tuba glue.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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