How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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