How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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