How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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