How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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