How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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