How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board

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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.

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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom

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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.

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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison

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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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