How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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