How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.

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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.

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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!

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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!

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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.

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