How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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