How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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