How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What did one tooth say to the other tooth?

The dentist is taking me out tonight.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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