How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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