How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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