How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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