How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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