How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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