How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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