How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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