How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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How many anarchists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

All of them.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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