How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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