How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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