How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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