How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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