Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.
or
From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
or
Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
or
I've been framed!
or
Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
or