How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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