How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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