How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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