How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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