How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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