How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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