How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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