How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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