How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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