How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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