How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What's the first thing a musician says at work?

"Would you like fries with that?"

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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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