How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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