How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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