How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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