How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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