How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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