How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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