How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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