How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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