How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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