How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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