How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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