How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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