How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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