How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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