How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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