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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!
If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"
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What did one titration say to the other?
"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?
Cell phones
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What does GOP stand for?
Grabs Our Pussy.
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What letter can you drink?
T (tea)
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?
[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?
Roberto.
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