How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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