How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Were does a boat go when it is sick?

To the dock.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What did the peanut say to the walnut?

Nothing. Nuts can't talk.
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