How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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