How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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