How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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