How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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