How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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