How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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