How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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