How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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