How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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