How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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