How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Why did the farmer wear one boot to town?

Because he heard there would be a 50% chance of snow!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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