How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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