How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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