How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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