How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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