How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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