How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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