How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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