How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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