How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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