How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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