How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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