How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What is the difference between a fly and superman?

Superman can fly, but a fly cannot superman!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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