How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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