How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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