How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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