How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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