How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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