How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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