How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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