How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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