How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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