How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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