How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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