How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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