How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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