How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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