How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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