How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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How many thought police does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There never was any light bulb.

Notes: Probably the only really good light bulb joke of 1984.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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