How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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