How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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