How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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