How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow.

I rang her up, I said "Did you get my drift?".
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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How many orgy attenders does it take to change a lightbulb?

As many as possible, and don't *ask* what they do with the old bulb.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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