How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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