How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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