How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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