How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?

One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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