How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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