How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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