How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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