How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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Where do fortune tellers dance?

At the crystal ball.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Where do you learn to make banana splits?

In sundae school.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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