How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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