How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?

Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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