How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What kind of flower has lips?

Two-lips!
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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