How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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