How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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