How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the painter say to the wall?

I got you covered.
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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