How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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