How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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