How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three: one to write the light bulb removal program, one to write the light bulb insertion program, and one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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