How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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How many U.S. Marines does it take to change a light bulb?

Fifty — one to screw in the bulb and 49 to guard him/her.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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