How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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