How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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