How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It doesn't matter, they don't have any electricity any more.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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