How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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How many TV comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to say "Sock it to Me." (Notes: Sock it = Socket. Also, for the infant readers among you, this was a popular catch-phrase from "Laugh In.")
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What's a royal pardon?

It's what the queen says after she burps.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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