How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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