How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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