How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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