How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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