How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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