How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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