How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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