How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What is black when clean, and white when dirty?

A blackboard.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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