How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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