How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What do you call a deer that costs a dollar?

A buck.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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