How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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