How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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