How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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