How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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