How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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