How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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