How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What does the winner of the race lose?

His breath.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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