How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How do you prevent a Summer cold?

Catch it in the Winter!
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A sunburnt zebra.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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