How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem to an earlier joke...

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.

If k mathematicians can change a light bulb, and if one more simply watches them do it, then k+1 mathematicians will have changed the light bulb.

Therefore, by induction, for all n in the positive integers, n mathematicians can change a light bulb.

Bibliography:

[1] Wiener, Matthew P., <11485@ucbvax>, Re: YALBJ, 1986
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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