How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What can you hold without ever touching it?

A conversation.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What do you call a rabbit with beetles all over it?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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