How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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