How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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