How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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