How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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