How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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A seal walks into a club...
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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