How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop.
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