How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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