How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.

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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?

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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.

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