How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What did one flower say to the other flower?

Hey, bud!
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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