How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness� as the industry standard.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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