How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the spy stay in bed?

Because he was under cover.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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