How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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