How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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