How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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