How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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