How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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