How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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