How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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