How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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