How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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