How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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How many BBS jokers does it take to tell yet another LBJ?

1,622. One to tell the original joke, and the rest to submit give some minor variation of it! For example:
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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