How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why can't you compare Donald Trump to cancer?

Because sometimes you can get rid of cancer.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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