How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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