How many PA' does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What's a light bulb?
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Slept like a log last night........

Woke up in the fireplace.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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