How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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