How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How many fatalists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What does it matter? we're all gonna die anyway.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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