How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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