How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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