How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?

The lawyer charges more.
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