How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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