How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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Have you heard the joke about the butter?

I better not tell you, it might spread.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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How are doughnuts and golf alike?

They both have a hole in one!
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