How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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