How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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