How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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