How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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