How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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