How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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