How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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Which candles burn longer, bee's wax or tallow?

Neither, they all burn shorter.
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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