How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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