How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

Three, but they're really only one.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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