How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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