How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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