How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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