How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why did the tree go to the dentist?

It needed a root canal.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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