How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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