How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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