How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a fairy who doesn't take a bath?

Stinker Bell.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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