How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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