How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What is the best time to go to the dentist?

Tooth-hurty.
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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