How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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