Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
or
Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
or
The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
or
With the Florida Keys.
or
What's up, dock?
or