How many referral agents does it take to change a light bulb?

Two: One to screw you out of a fee, and the other to send you to a store where they ran out of bulbs weeks ago.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to take notes while the other screws it into the faucet.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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