How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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They stopped a vulture from bringing his rotting carcasses on the plane

but he said "You said I could have two carry on items!"
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What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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How many times does Bill Clinton change a light bulb?

No one knows. Republicans automatically disbelieve him, and no one can ever trust a stinking liberal anyway.
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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