How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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