How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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How do they serve smart hamburgers?

On honor rolls.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What did the drummer get on his I.Q. Test?

Saliva
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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