How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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