How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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