How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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What did the belly button say just before it left?

I'm outtie here!

Tom: I bet I can make you say purple.
Joe: How?
Tom: What colors are in the American flag?
Joe: Red, white and blue.
Tom: I told you I can make you say red.
Joe: You said purple!
Tom: I told you I could make you say purple!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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Why did the bird get a ticket?

It broke the law of gravity!
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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