How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What kind of fly has a frog in its throat?

A hoarse fly!
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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