How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the number 0 say to number 8?

Nice belt!
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