How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do ghosts eat for supper?

Spooketi
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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