How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you call an exploding monkey?

A baboom
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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