How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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How many ``pro-lifers'' does it take to change a light bulb?

6: 2 to screw in the bulb and 4 to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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