How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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