How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

With a cowculator.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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