How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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