How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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