How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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