How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?

One hundred and nine. Seven on the Lightbulb Task Force Sub-committee, who report to the 12 on the Lightbulb Task Force, appointed by the 15 on the Trustee Board. Their recommendation is reviewed by the Finance Executive Committee of five, who place it on the agenda of the 18-member Finance Committee. If they approve, they bring a motion to the 27-member Church Board, who appoint another 12-member review committee. If they recommend that the Church Board proceed, a resolution is brought to the Congregational Business Meeting. They appoint another eight-member review committee. If their report to the next Congregational Business Meeting supports the changing of a lightbulb, and the Congregation votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the lightbulb change is passed on to the Trustee Board, who in turn appoint a seven-member committee to find the best price in new lightbulbs. Their recommendation of which hardware is the best buy must then be reviewed by the 23-member Ethics Committee to make certain that this hardware store has no connection to the Disney corporation. They report back to the Trustee Board who then commissions the Trustee in charge of the Janitor to ask him to make the change. By then the janitor discovers that one more light bulb has burned out.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.

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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over

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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.

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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats

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